My name is Laurie and today is my birthday. I am firmly now in my mid-forties and am currently watching the weeks of my youngest child's last semester in high school fly by...counting down to him leaving for college in August like a motherhood doomsday clock. 

Life is about to look very different. 

My anxiety for the next season of his life is very real, but so is my anxiety about the next season of mine with him gone. For a woman in this modern age, who did college and post-grad degrees but who, (very happily I might add) stayed home to raise her children and support her active-duty husband, what happens to her when that role has been fulfilled?

Too much thought about it could cause an existential crisis. Thankfully, being a military wife for nearly two decades has taught me a thing or two about resilience. After many long cries about my children leaving the nest, I realized that while my daily responsibilities as a mother may end here, my responsibility as an example to them of healthy adulthood does not.

One day, they will be here. Sitting in my shoes, facing this same reality of ‘what now’ and what I do next in my life will either model for them how to break down or how to embrace every single season life brings with excitement and possibility.

I’m allowed to dream—even at 40-something. Dream about opportunities that circumstances and time could not afford me until now. 

I have a lot of free time on my hands currently and a whole lot more coming. I could get a "real" job, which I wouldn't mind because I enjoy being industrious, but you'd be shocked to learn how hard (even when there's a booming economy) it is for a military spouse to be hired when the local area knows you not likely to stay past 2 years, and we are 2 years into that 2 years...

Dreams. What are my dreams?

What does a middle-aged woman dream of? Well, in many cases the things she dreamed of decades ago, but generally with a little more skepticism. Years of showing up for others and putting your needs on the back-burner can leave you forgetting that there was a back-burner. Feelings that you may not be worthy of dreaming or that your dreams are irrelevant because you're starting too late in life can creep in. Maybe even a sense of being an imposter in a world where everyone else is doing it better takes a foothold in your thoughts.

A few months ago my beloved niece was born and while holding her in my arms, gazing down at her newborn perfection, I thought of a quote from Mary Oliver I've kept taped to my fridge for my own children to be inspired by as they were growing up. 

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

I wondered what my niece would do with her one wild and precious life, and it made me pause and reflect on my own. Here I am in the middle of life (Lord willing) and I have no regrets. I am thrilled beyond measure at the path my life has taken and my ability to be home with my children, but, if I should live another 30, 40, 50 years...even just 5 years, would I be able to say the same thing? No regrets? 

I have wanted to write a book for as far back as I can remember. I still have my first diary from about age 7, and I even wrote a 100-page manuscript, by hand, when I was 12. I loved writing letters to encourage people when they were feeling down.

After high school, I went to journalism school and discovered a love for research, especially in psychology and human behavior and then edited part-time for a popular magazine. In my thirties, I went to grad school for counseling and did postgraduate work in neuroscience and polyvagal theory. 

I knew what I dreamed of, but to admit it and speak it out loud was terrifying. That's the thing about those deep, long-standing dreams; they come with a lot of mental noise. So many voices telling you that you are too late...you will make a fool of yourself...the vulnerability it will require and the exposure to rejection and criticism will be too much to withstand...

My mind tells me there will be naysayers and unsupportive people. There will be critics of my work. There will be roadblocks, hardships, challenging mental work, and even criticism? Would I be okay with being imperfect and being called out on it? Would I be okay with looking back at my early work and cringing as all accomplished writers report? 

It would be easier to just drop the dream. 

But then, there comes a moment when you decide easy isn't what you're after anymore and success by the world's standards is irrelevant. You're pursuing meaning, and suddenly the fear of never knowing becomes greater than all those other fears. 

In the film adaptation of Sense and Sensibility, there is a line spoken by Eleanor Dashwood (one of my favorite Austen stoic heroines) where she says, "It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do."

I wanted to find out what I might do with the rest of my one wild, precious life. 

What if I gave it my whole heart, was open-minded, trusted the process, was okay with imperfection, looked for people to help me, took criticism with grace and looked for ways to improve, blogged consistently about the topics I believe passionately in and most importantly never stop writing? 

What might be possible if I didn’t let fear make my next decision?

Late one December night, I decided to let go of all those fears and, The Unicorn Shore was born, and I never looked back.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. ~ Proverbs 13:12

Over the next year, while I finish writing this series, I welcome you to join me here on my blog as I chase the dream that was planted in that little girl’s heart so long ago.

The Unicorn Shore: The Secret of the Shell (A Junior Novel)

Book One in a Magical Junior Novel Series for Young Readers aged 6-9.

She thought it was just a fairy tale—until the shell whispered her name.

Nine-year-old Marigold always believed Grandma Pearl's stories about magic hidden in the waves. But nothing could have prepared her for the moment she found a glowing seashell shaped like a unicorn's horn—and it whispered her name.

Swept away to the Unicorn Shore, a mysterious land where unicorns talk, waves carry secrets, and magic is everywhere, Marigold learns she's been chosen for an urgent mission.

A powerful enemy is rising from beneath the waves, and her storms are already draining the Unicorn Shore's magic. If she breaks free, the bond between their worlds will be destroyed forever—and only Marigold holds the key to stopping her.

With the help of her new unicorn friends—wise Coral, speedy Spark, and snack-obsessed Nibbles—Marigold must solve a riddle hidden in an ancient lighthouse to get the answers they need. Answers that will bring her face to face with her greatest fear.

Can she find the courage to face the darkness and save her friends before the Unicorn Shore vanishes forever?

Perfect for fans of fairy tales, friendship, and magical adventure, this is a heartwarming story of courage, belonging, and the power of believing in the magic within us.

Paperback, Hardback and ebook available on Amazon and all major online booksellers in early 2025.