“Mom, I’m bored!” The dreaded three words of motherhood.
We live in a world that hates boredom. Actually, that was the world I grew up in. Now we live in a world that is intolerant of boredom. As adults, we’ve been conditioned this way too. Think about the last time you stood in line, sat in traffic, or waited at a doctor’s office. How long did it take before you pulled out your phone? Probably seconds, not minutes. Our kids see that too, and they learn from it.
Boredom feels wrong…like something we want to run from. Its stillness makes us ask questions we don’t want to think about. Not pulling out our phone when everyone else is on theirs screams inside us that we are not as important as they are. Being offline, even for short periods of time, creates anxiety that someone will need us and we won’t know it. In reality, boredom is one of the best things for us, and one of the best gifts we can give our children.
Children today have so little downtime to even feel boredom because of their highly scheduled lives, which makes it all the more important for us as parents to tolerate their boredom and see the value in it. Too often, though, in those small pockets of downtime (grocery lines, car rides, waiting for food at a restaurant) children are handed screens. This constant overstimulation of the brain, with no chance to reset, can create a host of problems.
Constant overstimulation, especially through screens, can quietly chip away at a child’s ability to focus, create, and regulate emotions. A 2019 report from Harvard Medical School explained that boredom is actually the space where imagination and problem-solving flourish, but when every moment of downtime is filled with fast, flashy input, children lose the chance to exercise those deeper mental muscles. Psychologist Victoria Dunckley (2017) has also warned that chronic screen exposure can leave the brain’s regulatory center overaroused, making it harder for children to manage frustration, attention, and empathy. Research by Ben-Sasson and colleagues (2019) found that preschoolers who experienced more sensory overstimulation were significantly more likely to struggle later with anxiety, irritability, and sleep problems. More recently, Twenge and Campbell (2025) linked heavy daily screen use in older children to learning delays and higher risks of depression and ADHD. In other words, when we fill every quiet moment with stimulation, we rob children of the downtime they need to grow, rest, and fall in love with slower, richer activities like reading.
Screens are not the enemy. They are simply the most common thing parents turn to when faced with the “I’m bored” dilemma. Parents want happy children because happy children give tired parents peace. Peace in the moment is wonderful, but it is worth asking whether the short-term payoff is worth the long-term impact.
Screens do not have to disappear entirely, but those small pockets of time are golden opportunities. They are the cracks in the day when a child can learn to reach for a book instead of a device.
Over time, kids really do gravitate toward reading in those moments. It doesn’t happen overnight, but they will slowly( and sometimes begrudgingly) turn toward books when they become the natural solution to boredom.
Boredom Vs “Perfect” Parenting
Parents sometimes worry when their kids complain about being bored. I used to worry too. It can feel like we’re failing, like we haven’t offered enough activities or stimulation. But boredom is not failure. It’s space. It’s an invitation for the brain to do its best work.
Research from the University of Central Lancashire has shown that boredom can actually spark creativity and problem-solving. In one study, Mann and Cadman (2014) found that participants who were first asked to do a boring task later came up with more creative ideas than those who hadn’t been bored at all. That same principle applies to kids. When the easy dopamine hit from a video game or an endless scroll isn’t an option, the brain starts looking for deeper sources of engagement. That might be doodling on a napkin, building a tower out of sugar packets, or, best of all, opening up a book.
Plan for Push Back
There will be pushback, but the trick is to let your child experience some boredom first without any sort of rescue. You might say, “Gosh, my phone has bad signal in here,” or, “The iPad stays at home from now on,” and then let them feel that boredom when the stakes are low- such as a quick trip into the store or a short errand. The next time, let the book be the hero of the day, “This time I remembered and brought a few books with me. Would you like to look at these while you wait?”
Do not be surprised if they reject you bitterly at first. Just stay calm and unbothered. When they yell, “No!” or “I want your phone,” respond with a simple, “I understand,” and let them sit in their boredom. You might feel embarrassed but that feeling will go away if your resolve is firm. Let yourself feel a little short term embarrassment for the long term benefit of your child’s wellbeing. It may not happen on the first car trip or grocery run…they may pout or cry the entire time, and it may take several rounds of boredom before they are willing to concede. When they finally do and ask for the book- stay cool. Do not overreact.
Once they have caught on and accepted that the in-between moments will no longer be filled with screens, invite them to help choose what books to bring to the store or in the car. You might have a very artistic child who prefers to draw instead, and that is wonderful too. As you ride, ask them to tell you a story about their picture or imagine what kind of book it would belong in.
The most important thing is not to let books become the enemy. Avoid saying, “We must read, so no screens.” Instead, keep it simple, “No screens on errands anymore.” Let them feel the pang of boredom for however long it takes, and then gently offer, “Would you like a book?”
Kids may not even realize at first that they are forming a habit. They just know that books are what show up in the in-between spaces of the day.
The Payoff
Once kids start experiencing the rewards of reading, it stops being something they do because they “have to” and becomes something they want to do.
When they discover that reading is not just a way to fill time but a source of fun and adventure, it becomes their first choice, not an afterthought. They long to get back to their story to see what happens next, and they can’t wait to tell you about it. They begin to crave the next chapter in the same way they once craved another show or video game.
When that shift happens, boredom itself becomes less threatening. Instead of feeling restless and empty, kids know they can dive into a story world that is waiting for them. And when there isn’t a book nearby, they turn more easily to daydreaming or creative play. They may still be filling the boredom, but now they are filling it in a healthier and more balanced way, without overstimulating the brain’s dopamine centers.
The ripple effect of these small, consistent choices is that a little book dragon is born…one who not only loves and collects books as treasure, but whose entire world is expanded by the stories they read. They may start begging for an e-reader rather than an iPad. Just be on guard, because these kids are prone to walking into things as their noses are always in a book.
References
Ben-Sasson, A., Soto, T. W., Martinez-Pedraza, F., & Carter, A. S. (2019). Early sensory over-responsivity in toddlers is associated with age 6 outcomes. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 47 (1), 101–112. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-018-0438-0
Dunckley, V. L. (2017, November 2). Is your child overstimulated from too much screen time? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-wealth/201711/is-your-child-overstimulated-from-too-much-screen-time
Harvard Medical School. (2019, July 1). Screen time and the brain. https://hms.harvard.edu/news/screen-time-brain
Mann, S., & Cadman, R. (2014). Does being bored make us more creative? Creativity Research Journal, 26 (2), 165–173. https://doi.org/10.1080/10400419.2014.901073
Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2025). Screen time and mental health in U.S. children and adolescents: A large-scale survey analysis. arXiv Preprint. https://arxiv.org/abs/2508.10062